11 Ways to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem: A Therapy-Based Guide

Hey there! If you’re reading this, chances are you’re looking for ways to feel better about yourself, boost your confidence, or help someone you care about—like maybe your sensitive young one or friend—find their inner strength. We get it; building confidence and self-esteem can feel like a daunting task, especially when life throws challenges your way. But here’s the good news: we can learn how to increase self-esteem and confidence with practical, therapy-based steps. In this blog, we are sharing 11 ways to build confidence and self-worth, grounded in mental health research and real-world experience. Let’s quickly go over what self-esteem and self-confidence mean.

• Self-esteem is about how much you value yourself overall. It’s your inner sense of worth — the belief that you are enough, deserving of respect and love, just as you are.
• Self-confidence is about how much you trust your abilities in specific situations. It’s the belief that you can do something — like giving a presentation, painting, cooking, or solving a problem.

Think of it this way:

• Self-esteem = “I am worthy.”
• Self-confidence = “I can do this.”

They’re connected: good self-esteem can boost confidence, and building confidence in skills can strengthen self-esteem.

Understanding the Root Cause of Low Self-Esteem

Before we jump into the tips, let’s talk about why self-esteem and self-worth might feel low in the first place. Low self-esteem often stems from a mix of factors: negative experiences in childhood, critical relationships, societal pressures, or even internalized negative thoughts. For kids, it might come from feeling misunderstood, overly criticized, or struggling to fit in. Highly sensitive children, for instance, might pick up on emotions and criticism more intensely, which can make them feel less worthy. Research shows that early experiences, like excessive criticism or lack of emotional support, can deeply impact how we view ourselves (Orth & Robins, 2014).

If you’re wondering, “Why do my kids lack confidence?” or “Why is my self-esteem so low?” it might be tied to these roots. The good news? Understanding this is the first step to change. Let’s explore how to increase self-worth and esteem with actionable steps.

11 Therapy-Based Ways to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

1. Practice Self-Compassion

Let’s start with being kind to yourself. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a friend. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, try saying, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” Research from Neff (2011) shows self-compassion boosts self-esteem by reducing negative self-talk. Next time you mess up, pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you’re human.

Struggling to be kind to yourself? Our expert counsellors at Mindkshetra can guide you. Book an appointment

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Your thoughts shape how you feel. If you’re constantly thinking, “I’m not good enough,” it’s time to challenge those thoughts. Write them down and ask, “Is this really true?” Replace them with positive affirmations like, “I’m capable of learning and growing.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, often used by our Mindkshetra counsellors, can help you reframe these thoughts effectively.

3. Set Small, Achievable Goals

Nothing boosts confidence like achieving something you set out to do. Start small—maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting or trying a new hobby. Each success builds your belief in yourself. For kids, this could mean encouraging them to try a new activity, like joining a club, and celebrating their efforts. Small wins add up to big confidence.

4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

The people around you matter. Spend time with those who lift you up, not tear you down. For kids with low self-esteem, like a daughter struggling to feel good about herself, having supportive adults and friends is key. Encourage open conversations and validate their feelings. If you need guidance, our Mindkshetra counselling services can offer tailored support for you or your child.

5. Embrace Your Strengths

You’ve got unique strengths—yes, you! Take time to list things you’re good at, whether it’s cooking, problem-solving, or being a great listener. For sensitive kids, highlight their empathy or creativity. Not sure where to start? Try a strengths-based exercise from positive psychology, like the VIA Character Strengths survey, to discover what makes you shine.

6. Practice Assertiveness

Learning to say “no” or express your needs can feel scary, but it’s a game-changer for self-worth. Start with small steps, like politely declining something you don’t want to do. For kids, role-playing assertive responses can help them feel more confident in social situations. This is a great way to build confidence in a sensitive child who might shy away from speaking up.

7. Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health

Your body and mind are connected. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and enough sleep can make you feel good inside and out. For mental health, try mindfulness or journaling to process your feelings. Kids can benefit from simple routines, like a bedtime story or a walk, to feel grounded. Prioritizing health is a cornerstone of how to increase self-esteem.

8. Limit Social Media Comparison

Online platforms can make you feel like everyone’s life is perfect—spoiler alert: it’s not! Limit time on social media and focus on real-life connections. For kids, talk about how online content isn’t always real and encourage them to share their feelings. This helps reduce the pressure to compare and boosts self-worth.

9. Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, you need a little extra help, and that’s okay. Therapy can provide tools to address low self-esteem and build confidence. At Mindkshetra, our counsellors specialize in helping people and kids navigate these challenges. Book a session at https://mindkshetra.com/contact-us to start your journey.

10. Teach Kids Emotional Resilience

For parents asking, “How do I toughen up an overly sensitive child?” it’s about building resilience, not changing who they are. Validate their emotions, teach problem-solving, and model positive coping strategies. For example, if your child has low self-esteem, encourage them to express their feelings and praise them for trying new things. Check out our courses for more resources on supporting kids’ mental health.

11. Reflect on Your Progress

Take time to notice how far you’ve come. Keep a journal to track your achievements, no matter how small. For kids, celebrate their efforts with specific praise, like, “I’m proud of how you tried that new game!” Reflecting builds a sense of worth and keeps you motivated.

The 5 Cs of Self-Esteem

To tie it all together, let’s look at the 5 Cs of self-esteem, a framework often used in therapy:

• Competence: Feeling capable in tasks or skills.
• Confidence: Believing in your ability to handle challenges.
• Connection: Building strong, supportive relationships.
• Character: Acting in ways that align with your values.
• Coping: Managing stress and emotions effectively.

Focusing on these areas can transform how you and your kids feel about yourselves. Want to dive deeper? Book an appointment with one of our counsellors today.

Helping a Sensitive Child with Low Self-Esteem

If you’re wondering how to build confidence in a sensitive child with low self-esteem, start by listening without judgment. Sensitive kids often feel emotions deeply, which can be a strength but also a challenge. Create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and avoid dismissing their feelings. Encourage small steps, like joining a group activity, and celebrate their efforts. Professional support can make a big difference – reach out to us at https://mindkshetra.com/contact-us for personalized guidance.

Can You Be 100% Confident?

Here’s the truth: nobody is 100% confident all the time. Confidence is a journey, not a destination. It’s about making progress, learning from setbacks, and embracing your unique worth. Every step you take, whether it’s trying a new tip or seeking support, gets you closer to feeling good about yourself.

Final Thoughts

Building confidence and self-esteem is about small, consistent steps. Whether you’re working on how to increase your self-esteem, helping a child, or navigating your own journey, you’ve got this. At Mindkshetra, we’re here to support you with expert guidance and resources. Ready to take the next step? Check out our courses or book an appointment

References

• Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1-12.
• Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2014). The development of self-esteem. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23(5), 381-387.